Wednesday, May 3, 2017

A musing

Today I am affected by a feeling that is undefinable. It is almost loss; but, not quite, for I never had anything to lose. It is almost hopelessness, but again I had no hope to begin with. It is most closely related to sadness, but I am not quite sad. Emptiness, yet there was no fullness. I am confounded. Unable to describe that which has torn my heart asunder.

Perhaps there is no defining it. Perhaps it is not a thing, or a feeling, or even a thought. Perhaps it was a passing fancy with no substance to it.

Whatever it was, I no longer have it (not that I had it in the first place).

A fantasy woven of ethereal threads of thought and feeling.

What is this thing growing inside
not to be shown but instead to hide?
What is this beast that rages within
yet has no vigor, nor any vim?
Why is there such an empty hole
there was no digging within my soul
Why have I lost so much sleep
for there isn’t e’en a tear to weep
Where has the key been taken
this feeling needs to be shaken
Where have all the locks been kept
They close the eyes that would have wept
Who is this shade that brings small pain
Not quenched by fire nor by rain
Who brings the joy and sorrow both
It is the one that my heart doth loathe

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